“Do not walk in front of me; I may not follow. Do not walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
What counselling is not, is as important as what it is. Counselling is not someone telling you what’s “wrong” with you, or telling you what to do.
Counselling is about discovering the strengths that you have, and respecting that you are the expert on you. No matter what struggles you face, you have the inner resources to work with them, though maybe you don’t know that yet.
A counsellor is not a ‘fixer’, nor do they have a magic wand. Counselling is not a quick fix, or a sticking plaster. It doesn’t paper over the cracks and make everything all better.
A counsellor is a ‘skilled helper’, someone who will listen to you with respect and help you unravel and explore the issues you want to work with but will also challenge you, inviting you to question your view of yourself and your world.
If you and your counsellor are ‘a good fit’, you will build a relationship of trust and mutual respect, this relationship provides the safe space for you to look more deeply inside yourself, and to shine a light on past pain and present struggles.
By really listening, paying attention, being curious and asking helpful questions, the therapist empowers you to find your answers, tapping into the knowledge you already have.
The way I work combines the building of a therapeutic relationship, working together to create a therapeutic plan or pathway, and exploring how you got to where you are now and whether or not you want to create change.
The process will be different, depending on you and what you want. It may be that just being heard will be enough. It may be that you want to work on solutions.
You will decide, and I will help you.